Dr. Bob's Blog

Water! We float, swim and splash in it. We can sink and drown in it. Most would agree that floating is better than sinking.

A similar logic can apply to boats, especially old boats. Our family has a delightful intergenerational appreciation of water and boats. And the Boat featured herein is a houseboat occupied, now and then, by Three Brothers. The Boat is quite old, and the Brothers too.

The boating exertions of years ago like water-skiing and exploring unchartered waters occur less often now, if at all.  Nowadays, the Brothers are happy to keep the old boat afloat, but even that requires repairs, and repairs of repairs. The original water tank leaked and required a new relocated water source: a “water bladder” that they promptly punctured, patched and replaced. Of course, there are boat bladders and then there are bladders of a human sort. Comparisons, Boat to Brothers, by simile, metaphor and analogy, are admitted forthwith.

Despite urinary challenges and nighttime trips to the head, the Brothers often remarked on how well they slept, afloat, gently rocking. Perhaps sleep was also so easy because of the late into the night talks that preceded it. These were not just any talks, as they often went from mundane topics like the weather to profound ones, like religion and politics. Come to think of it, on an old houseboat the weather is far from unimportant. After all, leaks come not just from below, but from above and all around with failing caulk and patches at windows, hatches, and doors. The Brothers, recognizing the ever-deteriorating problem, simply sheltered the Boat at a marina with a covered slip. Of course, all three noted their own slippages and leaks, exchanging tales of vulnerability, recovery, and the latest doctor’s office visit. This was a rite of aging!

Now to Politics, a subject that sadly splits up families in our confused and conflicted era. These Brothers went into those very murky waters and felt their common values and some sharp differences. It got edgy, but they somehow took the edge off. Was it unwise, rigid views giving way to wisdom and right understanding as sometimes happens with maturity? Maybe. But the greater credit probably belonged to something much bigger and below them, the vast waters of the Sacramento–San Joaquin River Delta: “Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.”

Yes, besides Politics they spoke of Religion; of Lao Tzu and Saint Paul; of Rupert Spira and a Parish Priest. The Brothers included a Devout Catholic, an Advaita Vedantist, and a Buddhist with affection for Christianity. These talks were spirited agreements and disagreements, but more than that. Without the illusion of infinite time ahead, these Brothers (at their best) sought more “to understand, rather than be understood”. And one of them could even speak the Prayer of St. Frances by heart! These talks enlivened the old men, like a fresh tank of gas in that old Volvo Penta boat engine.

Sleepy and late at night, sometimes the talk turned to “mom and dad”. Each Brother gave voice to love and gratitude. Somehow, they were suddenly wide-awake, as if they were young men, teens or even children again. None had ignored the flaws, the dysfunctions, and the hurts. For each, in his own way, had confronted the past, accepted it; confessed the past, and come a ways toward forgiving parents… and especially themselves.

This was the key to buoyancy; this is what kept them afloat.