June 12, 2026

The Present (Not A) Moment

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What a gift! We have heard and read so much about the “present moment” over many decades and wonderful books from Be Here Now to The Power of Now. Like a mind-medicine, future worries and ruminations on the past can disappear into the present moment. Yet, for many of us, that good old ever-present present moment is so very elusive, so slippery. Let’s take a closer look to find out why.

We do, after all, encounter lots of moments; those discrete segments of sensation, perception, emotion or thought. But how do we stay with them? We might, as some suggest, soft-label those moments like “itching” (sensation-perception) or “planning” (thought). Gently noting these moments helps tame a jack-rabbit mind. It helps herd and tether the ox. Note…note…note…it is like knocking on a door with just a peek inside at the present moment, before it disappears. Trying to note oneself into the present may become frustrating–we no sooner note a present moment, before we discover that it has vanished into the past. Dang!

Still, the sensate focus seems to initiate at least a brief experience of here/now, and is welcome respite from past and future preoccupations. But there are challenges. Noting sounds, audition, can seem to reveal discrete experiences of the present in the form of a burp after a big sip or a clap of thunder. It’s tempting to call those moments the present, but difficult to categorize them as such when we ponder the beer drinker’s long-winded belch or echoing thunder across a stormy sky. Are these prolonged sensations some kind of prolonged “moment”? And what about the meditation bell and its euphonious, pealing ring? More complicated yet are long-lingering sights and smells and tactile-kinesthetics-not exactly momentary. As we have discovered, these are moments quite impermanent.

Sensation may be an entryway to the present, but we stumble as we try to catch the moment inside. Be here now is a good start, but maybe not such a good finish. Maybe the present is so darn slippery because (even gently) grasping it in any given moment is the wrong idea. The renowned Harvard Functionalist rejected reducing mental events into discrete pieces or moments, and said that consciousness was like a stream. Try to catch that!

Thus, some have reasoned that the present moment is less a distinct and separate instant and more a continuum; that stream, a kind of flow. Positive psychologists have asserted that flow is like “being in the zone”, where the human subject becomes one with the object of doing. It is said that in certain sports, games, or creative activities, a flow state is achieved where the subjective experience of time disappears! Could it be that in the ballroom dance, or the writer’s scribbling poem, or in a long embrace there flourishes an experience (not a moment) of the present. It is said that the meditator’s quieted mind could likewise experience that flowing state. Perhaps in seeking the concrete and tangible moment of the present, we have foreclosed on the possibility of ever truly knowing it.

So be truly now and here! The connection of now and time transforms as we let go of the present moment, of analogue clock ticks, and relax into flow. Similarly, we could let go of here as place. After all, there is nowhere to go. As E. E. (ee), poet master of lower case put it:

seeker of truth

follow no path
all paths lead where

truth is here.

Here, no path and all paths, non-located.

To sum up, the present is not a moment, it is not exactly now, and it is not exactly here. It more closely approximates something both timeless and placeless, flowing, a river–and that presents another tempting illusion: just jump in! But who jumps where? And, once “in” the river, then what? Float, swim, sink…drown?

Our metaphor breaks down because we are not in the river of the present-we are the river of the present. We are always in flow, but our misperceptions and delusions falsely tell us otherwise. We glimpse this truth in the aforementioned experiences of dancing or poeming or lovemaking or meditating. We are the stream. As the Blog Poet wrote, the present is

“nowhere not,
lost when sought”.

So lose the seeking. Lose the diver and the dive and the stream too. Let go into the present, a soundless splash.

 

May 22, 2026

On Becoming

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Trajectories of a human life seem to follow discrete patterns across fixed domains. After all, we are physical beings and cognitive beings and beings of self and personality. In any given moment, we could observe our body or our mind or our very self. For example we might think “my stubbed toe hurts” (body) or “I’m thinking too much about my toe” (mind) or  “I’m too much of a worrier” (self).

Each observation seems factual and solid. But is it?

After all, the toe pain passes along with thoughts about it and self-judgments in relation to it. The point here is that most everything in the moment seems solid and permanent before it is whisked away in another moment or two. The bottom line is that our sense of a fixed reality might be more illusory than it seems. Decades ago, the esteemed Person-Centered Psychologist of his time noted that we are “a process not a product” and he called this process “becoming a person”. We are not product or static. We are not solid and separate from everything else. A beloved Tibetan Buddhist Nun put it succinctly: “nothing solid is happening”.

This reflection reflects the wisdom of anicca or impermanence. Nothing lasts; all is process whether me or the days of my life. On a good day we could appreciate the day’s fleeting goodness all the more and on a bad day, well, it’s nice to remember that (from the Sufi Poets) “this too shall pass”.

We are a process; we are becoming; nothing lasts. The child’s body and mind give way to the teen’s. Our young adult body and mind age into middle age, then old age. We are becoming, in this sense, to our last breath. And maybe beyond…

In the fourth Century, the Bishop of Nyssa embraced these principles of process, becoming and growth by invoking the concept of epektasis. From the Greek, it connotes a kind of stretching out and evolving; “never to stop growing toward what is better and never placing any limits on perfection”… “God is indeed in you” (Beatitudes VI).

If there is an afterlife and how we arrive there no one knows for sure. Death empties us of body and perhaps of the brain’s mind as well.  Maybe we arrive with empty bags, no baggage, not a “me” anymore…and we somehow and immediately merge with the Godhead, the Buddha Nature on the spot. God is indeed in you!

But what if we arrive, as some believe, with bags full of the past: of childhood’s ego and egotisms as well as the identities and confusions developed from adolescence onward– a whole lot of ME at those Pearly Gates. It could be a messy afterlife. But perhaps, in that full suitcase case, we are in process too. In epektasis. We are becoming for eternity, we are less and less me (and my identity), and more and more the Essence (the Godhead) that has always resided in and around me.

In the first case, our beatific transition might be considered sudden and immediate; in the latter case, gradual and eternal. And one more thing.  What if these are one and the same? What if eternity is timeless; a mere split second? Then temporal notions of sudden and gradual disappear into that fateful eternity. Either way, what a fate, Amor Fati!

Maybe we should start unpacking now.

 

April 15, 2025

Already Forgiven

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Long ago an Indian Sage offered up some wisdom into an age-old philosophical dilemma: free will versus determinism.

Most of us enjoy the day-to-day experience of freedom as we choose the time we rise, our fare for breakfast and the route to work or school. Sometimes the multitude of choices may even overwhelm. Consider breakfast and the over-stocked cereal isle at the grocery store-Frosted Flakes or Frosted Mini Wheats? Sometimes, we just choose none of the above.

We also choose our friends and relationships; we choose our career paths and our politics. We become upset, and sometimes choose to lash out and even harm others. Most would agree that we make these decisions and are responsible for them.

But are we truly free? Some behaviorists argue for the profound effects of the environment to influence, if not determine, our actions. And some proponents of biological determinism posit that our physical and mental selves are a function of the physical body and hereditary traits. These influences of nurture and nature, respectively, are briefly mentioned here to set the scene for that Sage cited above.

The karmic principle of cause and effect was central to this Wise Man’s analysis and it aligns with determinism. By this spiritual concept, our seeming choices for setting the alarm, picking breakfast foods and driving routes are not choices at all but an expression of the thousands if not millions of factors that preceded those actions: “everything is predetermined”. Harms to others are an expression of this principle too. Referring to the everyday experience of me as the Ego, one could thus imagine an egoic being, predestined by its nurture/nature past, while just imagining a life of free will. Our suffering emanates from this core delusion. If I am free and do these harms I must be bad. If you are free and do these harms you must be bad. All is unforgivable.

But suppose our nature is two fold. There is the Ego, an expression of nurture and nature, conditioned by both with the illusion of free will. And there is a Self, or Soul or Buddha Nature which exists without encumbered conditioning and in perfect understanding and freedom. Identification with the former invokes a path of suffering; of guilt and grudge, of karma. Identification with the latter is to awaken to that sacred space of freedom and responsibility.

Note the irony. The conditioned and predestined Ego while un-free suffers the illusion of freedom. Our failure to understand that we are all the effect of a myriad of causes promotes endless fault-finding; blame and self-blame. On the other hand, The Self, free by its very nature, is unconditioned and embodies wisdom and compassion. From that perspective, there is deep understanding of the Ego predicament and tenderness over the pain of grudge, resentment and unforgivable acts.

Most of us occupy that Ego space a lot with an occasional glimpse into our True Nature as we experience a little freedom. But maybe that’s enough to understand that somehow we are both free and determined. These experiences are compatible-the compatibilist view. In that space, the free will illusion starts to recede. We begin to understand that the messes of life are karmic and nobody’s fault. In some sense, we all have done what we were destined to do. Nobody’s fault. In and from that space, we all might release and be released from past transgressions. This fragile insight comes and goes at first. The fault-finding Ego is unsatisfied, with last gasps to never pardon and forever condemn self and others.

We persevere and continue to cultivate those synergistic qualities of wisdom and compassion. We contemplate these elements; we chew and swallow the sacrament. Cause and effect wobbles; conditioning corrects to mere ethers. The Old Sage smiles.

We arrive without baggage at the forgiveness impasse again, and prepare to conquer it. But then the unexpected- All causes and effects have disappeared into the Self where the Truth is suddenly upon us. The Truth is that each of us has been natured and nurtured and acted as only we could all our lives. And in this brief, bright moment we understand. No blame.

There is nothing more to do. We are, all of us, already forgiven.

 

March 28, 2025

Red Light Buddha

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Road rage rages and simple selfish behaviors spew from behind the wheel of those anonymous, 4000-pound hunks of steel, aluminum and plastic. The American Roadway Experience!

Little needs to be written here to explain the challenges of driving in the Twenty-First Century. From adolescence, we all know the stress and madness, and what it’s like to negotiate those frenetic streets and freeways. But, what might we do about it?

First, let’s explore the anonymity of the vehicle itself. We drive and necessarily do not and cannot examine every face and spirit around us. Instead, we see ourselves surrounded, not by fellow sentients, but by soulless machines, completely dehumanized. This kind of cultivated dehumanization is a prerequisite to violence, going to war and other atrocities. Hand me the keys! What could possibly go wrong?

Plenty.

Thank God for the bumper-sticker meditation: “you are not stuck in traffic; you are traffic”. Like a Recovery Program, this is our first step. Powerless over traffic. Not separate from traffic, just part of the situation. We could abandon the delusion that all other drivers are inferior relative to own superb abilities and relax.

Relaxation could begin at every Red Light. Red Light Buddha. Too often, a Red Light is taken as a personal affront; intentional sabotage of our trip or commute. Instead, imagine it signals, like the meditation bell, pure possibility: Focus on the breath, or maybe a mantra, or how about a favorite prayer. Practice. We know we are making progress when there is a slight disappointment as the light turns green. If struggles remain, don’t fret…there will soon be another Red Light opportunity.

Another form of practice presents itself in gridlock. It is customary to aggress during congestion, fighting for every inch of highway. There is the deep commitment to let no car move in front of us, ever. Instead, try another deep breath and kindly gesture (you know which one) for that nice lady or gentleman to merge in front of you…and smile. Fake it till you make it!

More seriously…Stalls and accidents back up traffic. The EMT unit arrives and passers-by alternate between gawking and cursing the delay. If there is such a thing as negative energy, gawks and curses may be more poisonous than tailpipe emissions. Alternatively, pause to truly see the person in harms way. Imagine it to be someone you love… and love this stranger. Send prayers. May they be free from suffering.

No discussion of traffic would be complete without a review of parking lot customs. Searching for a parking space, seeing one, only to have it stolen before we arrive. Thief! As an experiment, drive slowly through the lot and graciously offer a space that rightfully belongs to you (first dibs). Generosity in the parking lot takes a little effort but like most forms of giving, it bestows grace upon giver and recipient. And on a near full parking lot day, try reversing the plan. Don’t seek the closest space to your destination. Find one far away with easy access.  Enjoy a comfortable parking experience followed by a brisk, healthy walk!

And invite Red Light Buddha everywhere and always.

 

January 25, 2025

Story Time: Retelling The Story Of Our Lives

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Our narrative mind thinks in stories, for better and worse.


Each and everyday we are the subject surrounded by the objects of our lives. These in-the-moment tales occupy the mind’s foreground with the plots and scenes of our protagonist identity in everyday life. We plan and problem solve; process and retrieve all in that foreground…we pay our bills, chat with neighbors and curse a red stoplight all in our here and now story. But there is much more to our personal tale than that.


You see, stories also inhabit the vast background of our cognitive life. The background is ground indeed, with stories rooted deeply into the archetypal soils of our psyche and revealed in the quiet moments of the wandering mind. There are stories upon stories all free-associating from one to another: dialogs, monologues, images, memories. Soft daydreams, challenges big and small, even dramas and tragedies propelled by deep emotion. Our tales review many, many yesterdays and countless imagined tomorrows. This mental autobiography of our past and future selves just seems to come from nowhere…and to there it returns. Careful observation shows multiple, simultaneous stories, disconnected narratives in a cacophony of thought. When the foreground recedes, this background naturally comes up to fill that conscious mental space.


Whether foreground or background some storylines invoke jewels of love, compassion, joy or serenity while others do not. These negative ruminations afflict us all and include fears, attachments, aversions and distortions. They often occur in relation to conflict, tension, trauma or depression. What to do?


Foregrounded ruminations could be captured, analyzed for irrationalities and replaced with logical alternatives in various cognitive restructuring strategies. While helpful, these fledgling positive thoughts may be subsumed in the negative stories that undergird them. After all, it is easier and simpler to swap out a thought than a vast storyline. Somehow we must dig into the background and depths of our narrative mind to honestly retell the troublesome, false and irrational scripts that influence our everyday thoughts.


Practice
Some meditation forms relax the storytelling mind. Beginning with acceptance and just noticing the breath. Storylines pass through…and we return to the breath, again and again. There are tiny gaps and even pauses in our narrative streams. It is a good start. And, as we will later discuss, a good finish.

For remediation of these deep, negative storylines, an additional, powerful tool can be brought to bear. We can invoke the ancient Buddhist practice of sending and receiving on behalf of our past and future selves. It is called Tonglen.


This radical practice flies in the face of biologic in-out rhythms for sustenance and breath. After all our life depends upon taking in nutrients and expelling waste. Similarly, for each breath we breathe in oxygen and out carbon dioxide. But this meditation gears all that into reverse as we breathe in the bad, the hot, smoky and toxic…and breathe out the good, the clean, healing and refreshing. Typically and wonderfully this practice is directed toward the aid of others; it can also be directed at our past and future selves. What follows highlights the past, in the form of a Child Self, and the future, in the form of a Dying Self


Imagine this: you sit with a strong erect posture feeling your best Self in the present, the reality of your innate wisdom and compassion, here and now. Feel the vast life-giving Earth below upon which you rest. Then practice this counterintuitive whiff: breathe in the hot, smoky poisons of the World; breathe in our collective greed, hatred and ignorance. Go slow; be wise. It is said the poisons do not get stuck. Take them deeper. See them descending into our compassionate Mother Earth, into the cold, dark soils below where they disperse and nurture new growth. For enduring dreads and atrocities, breathe them deeper down, past the mantle to the fiery core. As if from Shiva’s third eye, let those the flames burn up the poison. Gone. Breathe back to the Earth the jewels of generosity, love and wisdom. Breathe back sunshine, a cool breeze and dogs, tails a wagging.


Pause.


To your left, you visualize a child, your younger self (to start, just at any age that feels right). Next locate a specific negative emotion, often contained in a childhood memory, a story. Lean in to the child’s darkness, heaviness of emotions, tensions and thoughts…and breathe them in, slowly and deeply. As if a loving, brave parent, take on the tears and shames and rages fully. Hold them for a moment, for the child’s pain brings forth the most intimate compassions we could ever know. Now take it deeper, into the Earth, to cold soil or hot core. Gone. And then breathe back to the child the gift of fresh air. Breathe back like a cool breeze with your vow to be mindful- to protect and to nurture that child, always. Finally, exchange smiles, happy tears and love.


Pause.


Next turn your inner gaze to the right. And see yourself in old age, perhaps in sickness. Perhaps near death. Connect to your bravery, to your kindness here and now as you imagine your elder self. Do not look away. As before, breathe in the negative, the regrets, the fear and the resistance-all the way down and into the Earth. Breathe out a basic goodness that has been there all along; what is rational and honest. Breathe in despairs and grudges directed outward and inward, and breathe out forgiveness of others and especially oneself. Breathe in self-judgments and breathe out the karmic wisdom and acceptance of your flawed, wonderful life lived as only you could live it. Breathe in dying aches and pains and breathe out thanks and comfort to this vehicle of blood and bones that carried you every step of the way. Breathe out the radical acceptance of a human life coming to its end, bittersweet, but a jewel all the same. Breathe out integrity. Let go and float. Let go and float.


Pause.


Close as you began with a simple focus on the breath. Allow stories and thoughts to come and go…back to the breath, the here and now. Calming. This simple ending allows these new Tonglen stories to repose and assimilate into our deepest mind.


Over time, our stories retold seem lighter; not so very heavy and hardwired. Poisons recede as Jewels ascend. The child we were and the dying adult we will be receive these new stories with utmost receptivity and gratitude: stories retold in our autobiographical mind.

 

November 24, 2024

Let’s Talk About Hands

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Open them, shut them, open them shut them,
Give them a great big clap.
Open them, shut them, open them, shut them,
put them in your lap.


The classroom called special education holds labors and wonders and chants including this one with a hands-in-your-lap finale. This position can be a remarkable point of pause in the hands-busy lives of those students… and the rest of us.


You see, students in class learn life skills that most of the rest of us take for granted, as they pour a cup of juice or tie shoelaces. Hands dedicated to careful and slow pouring or tying is a thing of beauty to watch. To succeed, students like Dolores and Charlie and all of their peers paid rapt attention! And after awhile some teachers began to wonder: who is teaching whom?


What if we all sat still for a moment with our hands in the “pupil mudra”, simply in the lap? Or we could experiment with the symbolic hand gestures associated with various religious traditions like the meditative dhyana mudra: palm up right hand atop palm up left hand, thumbs touching. One could sneak the right hand from the lap to touch the ground even as the left hand remains in the lap. That’s the “earth witness mudra”–see the grand legend for that background story!


Pausing with hands in our lap invites a contemplative state. It sets the stage for the movements that follow. In fact, an interesting mindfulness practice is to simply watch our hands. After all, so many of our daily activities involve mindless hand-based movements, as we day-dream our way through pouring or tying or typing a sentence. We call it “muscle memory”, a kind of motor memory that joins the motor cortex with a part of the brain responsible for behaviors of habit. This efficiency, while essential, can lead to a lost-in-thought lifestyle.


Watching hands deliver these automatic actions now and then is to notice the miracle that we are. Next we could observe the thousands of similar automatic movements dedicated to eating a meal or driving a car or scrolling on a phone. Extraordinary!


No wonder that, in the classroom called special education, Dolores would exclaim in utter joy, “lets talk about hands!”