Free Palm Sunday Palm Leaf photo and picture

Long ago an Indian Sage offered up some wisdom into an age-old philosophical dilemma: free will versus determinism.

Most of us enjoy the day-to-day experience of freedom as we choose the time we rise, our fare for breakfast and the route to work or school. Sometimes the multitude of choices may even overwhelm. Consider breakfast and the over-stocked cereal isle at the grocery store-Frosted Flakes or Frosted Mini Wheats? Sometimes, we just choose none of the above.

We also choose our friends and relationships; we choose our career paths and our politics. We become upset, and sometimes choose to lash out and even harm others. Most would agree that we make these decisions and are responsible for them.

But are we truly free? Some behaviorists argue for the profound effects of the environment to influence, if not determine, our actions. And some proponents of biological determinism posit that our physical and mental selves are a function of the physical body and hereditary traits. These influences of nurture and nature, respectively, are briefly mentioned here to set the scene for that Sage cited above.

The karmic principle of cause and effect was central to this Wise Man’s analysis and it aligns with determinism. By this spiritual concept, our seeming choices for setting the alarm, picking breakfast foods and driving routes are not choices at all but an expression of the thousands if not millions of factors that preceded those actions: “everything is predetermined”. Harms to others are an expression of this principle too. Referring to the everyday experience of me as the Ego, one could thus imagine an egoic being, predestined by its nurture/nature past, while just imagining a life of free will. Our suffering emanates from this core delusion. If I am free and do these harms I must be bad. If you are free and do these harms you must be bad. All is unforgivable.

But suppose our nature is two fold. There is the Ego, an expression of nurture and nature, conditioned by both with the illusion of free will. And there is a Self, or Soul or Buddha Nature which exists without encumbered conditioning and in perfect understanding and freedom. Identification with the former invokes a path of suffering; of guilt and grudge, of karma. Identification with the latter is to awaken to that sacred space of freedom and responsibility.

Note the irony. The conditioned and predestined Ego while un-free suffers the illusion of freedom. Our failure to understand that we are all the effect of a myriad of causes promotes endless fault-finding; blame and self-blame. On the other hand, The Self, free by its very nature, is unconditioned and embodies wisdom and compassion. From that perspective, there is deep understanding of the Ego predicament and tenderness over the pain of grudge, resentment and unforgivable acts.

Most of us occupy that Ego space a lot with an occasional glimpse into our True Nature as we experience a little freedom. But maybe that’s enough to understand that somehow we are both free and determined. These experiences are compatible-the compatibilist view. In that space, the free will illusion starts to recede. We begin to understand that the messes of life are karmic and nobody’s fault. In some sense, we all have done what we were destined to do. Nobody’s fault. In and from that space, we all might release and be released from past transgressions. This fragile insight comes and goes at first. The fault-finding Ego is unsatisfied, with last gasps to never pardon and forever condemn self and others.

We persevere and continue to cultivate those synergistic qualities of wisdom and compassion. We contemplate these elements; we chew and swallow the sacrament. Cause and effect wobbles; conditioning corrects to mere ethers. The Old Sage smiles.

We arrive without baggage at the forgiveness impasse again, and prepare to conquer it. But then the unexpected- All causes and effects have disappeared into the Self where the Truth is suddenly upon us. The Truth is that each of us has been natured and nurtured and acted as only we could all our lives. And in this brief, bright moment we understand. No blame.

There is nothing more to do. We are, all of us, already forgiven.

Free Traffic Light Red Light photo and picture

Road rage rages and simple selfish behaviors spew from behind the wheel of those anonymous, 4000-pound hunks of steel, aluminum and plastic. The American Roadway Experience!

Little needs to be written here to explain the challenges of driving in the Twenty-First Century. From adolescence, we all know the stress and madness, and what it’s like to negotiate those frenetic streets and freeways. But, what might we do about it?

First, let’s explore the anonymity of the vehicle itself. We drive and necessarily do not and cannot examine every face and spirit around us. Instead, we see ourselves surrounded, not by fellow sentients, but by soulless machines, completely dehumanized. This kind of cultivated dehumanization is a prerequisite to violence, going to war and other atrocities. Hand me the keys! What could possibly go wrong?

Plenty.

Thank God for the bumper-sticker meditation: “you are not stuck in traffic; you are traffic”. Like a Recovery Program, this is our first step. Powerless over traffic. Not separate from traffic, just part of the situation. We could abandon the delusion that all other drivers are inferior relative to own superb abilities and relax.

Relaxation could begin at every Red Light. Red Light Buddha. Too often, a Red Light is taken as a personal affront; intentional sabotage of our trip or commute. Instead, imagine it signals, like the meditation bell, pure possibility: Focus on the breath, or maybe a mantra, or how about a favorite prayer. Practice. We know we are making progress when there is a slight disappointment as the light turns green. If struggles remain, don’t fret…there will soon be another Red Light opportunity.

Another form of practice presents itself in gridlock. It is customary to aggress during congestion, fighting for every inch of highway. There is the deep commitment to let no car move in front of us, ever. Instead, try another deep breath and kindly gesture (you know which one) for that nice lady or gentleman to merge in front of you…and smile. Fake it till you make it!

More seriously…Stalls and accidents back up traffic. The EMT unit arrives and passers-by alternate between gawking and cursing the delay. If there is such a thing as negative energy, gawks and curses may be more poisonous than tailpipe emissions. Alternatively, pause to truly see the person in harms way. Imagine it to be someone you love… and love this stranger. Send prayers. May they be free from suffering.

No discussion of traffic would be complete without a review of parking lot customs. Searching for a parking space, seeing one, only to have it stolen before we arrive. Thief! As an experiment, drive slowly through the lot and graciously offer a space that rightfully belongs to you (first dibs). Generosity in the parking lot takes a little effort but like most forms of giving, it bestows grace upon giver and recipient. And on a near full parking lot day, try reversing the plan. Don’t seek the closest space to your destination. Find one far away with easy access.  Enjoy a comfortable parking experience followed by a brisk, healthy walk!

And invite Red Light Buddha everywhere and always.

Free Forest Trees photo and picture

The poet wrote:
Nowhere not,
Lost when sought:
This Moment.

The present moment…what a gift!

Of course, some would argue that the present moment is all any of us ever experience-it is, after all, “nowhere not”. But what about “lost when sought”-the seeking part. Could it be that we seek ourselves right out of the here and now experience? Maybe.


Sometimes we reject the present. Consider that gnawing feeling that whatever this moment holds is just not quite good enough; or the fear of missing out on other moments; or for many, the nearly constant seek-scrolling through social media.


And seeking is just one way the mind could rob us of this gift. We appreciate that there is the necessity of planning for the future and reflecting upon the past. But these worthwhile pursuits too often become future fretting and rumination over real or imagined past experiences. The present is lost.


One way to understand our dilemma is to remember why so many love trips and traveling. Most of us have experienced the satisfaction, the joy of a trip to a new place. It is educational we think to ourselves; it is cultural or historical or a window into others and their lives. All true.


But maybe there is another point. When we are in unfamiliar surroundings, something happens inside of us all. Senses are heightened. Habits of mind and body disappear to accommodate the excitement and freshness of our journey.


Simply put we are present. Sure there are moments when we become lost in thinking about schedules and tickets, but the novelty of travel alerts us again and again. We are freed from the tyranny of habitual perceptions and thoughts. We are fully, here and now…in whatever new environment we have entered. Besides the joys of new places and people, it is this experience of the present moment that delights us as we travel. So much so that some become quite obsessed with traveling and depressed at the thought of being at home.


These observations might present a slightly different way of looking at our travels and our time at home. Let us make the familiar unfamiliar again! Drop the habitual perceptions of home and see it anew. Acknowledge with gratitude that in an ever-changing universe, our home, backyard and neighbors are a little different every day.


The present, nowhere not…even from the front porch on Thanksgiving.

Free Monk Meditation photo and picture

Open them, shut them, open them shut them,
Give them a great big clap.
Open them, shut them, open them, shut them,
put them in your lap.


The classroom called special education holds labors and wonders and chants including this one with a hands-in-your-lap finale. This position can be a remarkable point of pause in the hands-busy lives of those students… and the rest of us.


You see, students in class learn life skills that most of the rest of us take for granted, as they pour a cup of juice or tie shoelaces. Hands dedicated to careful and slow pouring or tying is a thing of beauty to watch. To succeed, students like Dolores and Charlie and all of their peers paid rapt attention! And after awhile some teachers began to wonder: who is teaching whom?


What if we all sat still for a moment with our hands in the “pupil mudra”, simply in the lap? Or we could experiment with the symbolic hand gestures associated with various religious traditions like the meditative dhyana mudra: palm up right hand atop palm up left hand, thumbs touching. One could sneak the right hand from the lap to touch the ground even as the left hand remains in the lap. That’s the “earth witness mudra”–see the grand legend for that background story!


Pausing with hands in our lap invites a contemplative state. It sets the stage for the movements that follow. In fact, an interesting mindfulness practice is to simply watch our hands. After all, so many of our daily activities involve mindless hand-based movements, as we day-dream our way through pouring or tying or typing a sentence. We call it “muscle memory”, a kind of motor memory that joins the motor cortex with a part of the brain responsible for behaviors of habit. This efficiency, while essential, can lead to a lost-in-thought lifestyle.


Watching hands deliver these automatic actions now and then is to notice the miracle that we are. Next we could observe the thousands of similar automatic movements dedicated to eating a meal or driving a car or scrolling on a phone. Extraordinary!


No wonder that, in the classroom called special education, Dolores would exclaim in utter joy, “lets talk about hands!”

Free hearing listening ear vector

Much has been written on judgment in contrast with discernment and this short essay may add little to that literature. But here goes:


We notice stuff. Our senses are constantly filled with input from the physical world around us and within us. So much so that we automatically select certain inputs, and habituate to the rest, all to minimize the overwhelm from our dynamic surroundings.


Sensory input becomes perception as we organize and interpret these data. One aspect of that process might be called discernment and one expression of discernment could be called judgment. Discernment is a function of mindfulness. It is fluid noticing from moment to moment. Judgment notes and solidifies; it takes a stand. Each has a place.


Judgment has numerous contexts and meanings from religion to law to medicine to the childhood admonition to “show good judgment”. Many of us failed that one!


Some religions have a final or last judgment as well as cautions about judging others; to stand in judgment. Clinical judgment relates to professionals in medicine, nursing and psychology, and a call for rational evaluation and healing. Law presents the archetypal deliverer of judgment, a judge. At best justice emerges from the rigor of good and fair judgments, and at worst, injustice ruins lives by fine or incarceration with financial and reputational harms done. Lastly there are the everyday, ubiquitous judgments of daily decisions to cross the street against a red light or wait for the green; to take an umbrella when storm clouds appear…or not.


Now consider the judgment of others. All around us we notice similarities and differences in appearance, opinion and behavior. And sometimes extreme and harmful behavior requires strong judgment and a hard NO. But in a world fueled by social media, cancel culture and our imperfect perceptions, too many judgments promote misunderstanding, a lot of ill-will and a big mess.


What if we paused instead and looked carefully, with discernment. It does not disappear the mess but invites us to engage and take a deep look. That judgment off-ramp is at hand, but we could hold off for a moment. It can be uncomfortable as we discern similarities and especially differences between people, places, things and situations. Resisting snap judgments allows us to fully engage with that experience.


The steadfast observer might persevere. Discernment after all is about noticing differences, suspending judgment and experiencing. It brings our wisdom and compassion to the forefront and gives a chance for our irrationalities and ill-will to recede.


We could wake up to our capacity to discern the world clearly and take a stand now and then. With practice, judging takes its proper place in moment-to-moment discernment.