Dr. Bob's Blog

The delight of shared opinion has long occupied minds everywhere. Discussion and debate can be intellectually vigorous, emotionally rewarding and just plain fun. Yet, as we examine relatively recent innovations of social media, something has happened to those good debates of old. They now seem more shrill, divisive and mean-spirited than ever. And, truthfully, this post adds just one more opinion on the heap…but please read on.

Of course, we must not succumb to the false nostalgia of some good old days of argued ideas. Let’s stipulate that opposing opinions have had their downside for as long as humankind has held them. After all, one could cite the history of warfare across centuries as an example of opinion and disagreement degrading to savagery. And, mournfully, there is no shortage of armed conflict to this very day.

But our current time and technology has added some new and performative twists to opinions expressed.  There is political theater with more bombast than substance; (sometimes empty headed) influencers and podcasters; X and Facebook, and opinions so pervasive, dark and fact-free that one must sometimes run for cover. Meditation recommended.

Before you grab your cushion, a couple of additional observations. The place to start looking at opinions is always with our own. Bias around confirmation is that trickiest of inputs where we screen out opposing views and welcome views that pat our own on the back. None of us has completely conquered self-deception, and those who think they have may be the biggest nitwits of all.

Young kids may be an exception to the problem of opinion. Children represent both the ultimate in egocentricity and innocence. True, that a preschooler knows a lot about me and “mine” (every other object is mine) in their sensory-based world. But it is also true that their purity of opinion can shine forth. What the pre-logical mind lacks in factual discourse is more than made up for by the most holy form of sincerity. See child opinions on Good and Evil; Santa and Monsters, respectively.

The rest of us could exercise some introspection and consider opinion corrupted by three factors: the poisons of Buddhist philosophy.

First reflect upon the greed of opinion as we collect and covet our own, like some miser and a pile of (fools) gold. We squeeze our views with such attachment that counterviews are not entertained except to double-down on our own beliefs. We become not so interested in understanding the other and obsess on the demand, “goddamit, understand ME”.

Next, observe the ill-will of opinion as we put forth our own with frustration, hostility and even hatred toward opposing ideas and the people that hold them. Grimacing countenance, tone of voice and that tight gut-feeling signal our indulgence of aversion toward others.

Finally, take note of the ignorance of opinion too often held with a complete lack of humility. We have to be right in relation to the wrong of the other guy. Imagine the vastness of viewpoints and the tiny, tiny speckle that represents our own. There is a lot we could learn from each other.

Remedy starts with mindful awareness and a life-long self-assessment of points of view. Where we see our own greed, we might bring the generosity of opinion and the suspension of judgment. This is not to retreat to eternal people-pleasing, but instead to fully listen, welcome and appreciate others and their thoughts. In the words from The Prayer Of St. Francis, we could seek less to be understood and more to understand. In fact, the entire prayer goes a long way toward informing the generosity of opinion.

Next, reflect on ill-will and opinion. It is stunning to let that in: a few cacophonous hours of the evening opinion/news, social media or even a family gathering will do. We are tasked with releasing our own aversions and, per that Priere pour la paix, invoking a little kindness and peace. And at that contentious family event, maybe a little love.

Lastly, take a deep breath to appreciate that we occupy Sagan’s tiny pale blue dot and yet suffer the delusion that our own ideas fill the universe. A little humility and with that, a dollop of wisdom, please.

Many of these ideas are not new and some of them are better expressed elsewhere. The Mindfulness Trainings of Thich Nhat Hanh are a good place to pause our attention. Thay’s teaching on the non-attachment to views and deep listening to others are a kind of salve to opinion gone bad.

Now, jump on that cushion.